Rab ne banaa di kodi

We have been treated to tickets to Rab Ne Banaa di Jodi as part of a leaving-party by a friend. The seats are quite close to the screen. We are enjoying trailers of some hindi movies before the main film starts. This helps us to get used to the closeness of the screen and the big faces in our faces.The theatre has an equal number of Indians and British.

The mandatory censor board certification is displayed. The film starts with the title in bright colours and dazzle and we are all set for the usual bollywood reds and greens and blues and yellows and the chutzpah.

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Anoushka Sharma, Vinay Pathak
Director: Aditya Chopra
Music: Salim Suleiman

This is a story of a very simple middle class shy guy named Suri who happens to marry a simple girl named Taani. Suri loves his wife so much that he disguises himself as a hep and talkative Raj to win the love of his wife. The Raj-Taani proceedings flow with the backdrop of a dance competition. Of course, Taani does not recognise him in this disguise and she falls in love with Raj. Eventually, all ends well, Suri gets his wife to appreciate his love and they win the couple-dance competition. They call it SRK's ode to the simple Indian man.

Pros:
Shahrukh Khan. One cannot help but feel the energy.
Spot on acting
Screenplay
Cinematography and choreography

Cons:
Too sugary
Too much Shahrukh for the eyes
Music. Nothing worth remembering.

A dream song sequence is dedicated to the film oldies - Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Shammi Kapoor, Rajesh Khanna and Rishi Kapoor. Each actor having its own piece of action through SRK and being glamourised by the precense of Kajol, Bipasha, Lara, Preity and Rani. (4 pretty bongs!!) This is a cleverly written and choreographed song. The production has shamelessly and neatly placed brands like Pepsi, Bajaj, Santro and Hero cycles.
There are references to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Dilwale dulhaniya le jaayenge. The title was a song from the Amitabh starrer - Suhaag - and SRK and Vinay do a impromptu celebration scene to that song playing in the shop.
Aditya Chopra gives a new definition to love here - 'jismein rab dikhta hai'. Funnily enough an old SRK- Sonali Bendre movie 'English Babu Desi Mem' had a more hummable song/ bhajan of the words - 'tujh mein hai rab dikhta'.

Slumdog Millionaire

I have always liked Hollywood productions that are shot in India. They make the entire country look richer and livelier. Slumdog Millionaire was no exception. The story is nothing different than a late 80s hindi movie starring the likes of Anil Kapoor and Jackie Shroff. In fact, it runs a track very similar to Parinda. But, as Abbas Tyrewala said 'It is not the story itself, but how one narrates the story that is important'. And David Boyle does a great job with this production for the British production - Film 4. He does a great job of ending this neo-noir movie in a feel-good tone. The casting by Loveleen Tandan is spot on and that was half the battle won. The English production house has delivered a sincere hindi masala movie, complete with references to Amitabh Bachchan and a promotional video shot on the platform of VT station for the end credits.

I heard the soundtrack by A R Rehman before watching the movie and I wondered if he had lost his magic. But the genius of the man is appreciated with the flow of the movie and as I write this I am replaying the songs to a completely renewed effect.

Entertainment, overall.

Breaking news

I was in Mumbai till the 25th and joined work in London on Wednesday. I had got sweets and savouries from Mumbai for my friends on London. When everyone asked me how the vacation was I glowed up recalling my days in the bright day light of Colaba causeway, Churchgate station, VT station, Bandra, Andheri and the various theatres. I was all recharged and telling everyone that Mumbai is the best city in the world. The day whizzed past as the after taste of my short vacation in Mumbai was still lingering.

Ironically, when I went back home that evening the news channels were show casing the audacity of the terrorists who had entered and ruined my favourite place. Nothing can undo or make up for what they have done. The effects of the attacks will stay in the memories of the world for a long time. Mumbai will soon be considered one of the most dangerous places in the world. There will be a constant fear attached to the name of my city.

This will all be followed by the usual politics and blame games. Pakistan will incorrigibly deny any part in the attacks. The ISI will diplomatically deny any links. The local politicians will try to gain mileage at the cost of Indian tax payers' money. An enquiry commission will be duly setup that will take months to come up with any useful conclusion. There will be a lot published in newspapers, magazines, blogs and even, movies. The news channels, who had been foolishly disclosing all the army tactics during the attacks, will continue with the 'breaking news'. Group discussions will continue highlighting the stoic spirit of the city. Soon all this will fade away and everything will be forgotten.

Sigh.

I hope that these attacks have shaken the Mumbaikars enough to make them take things in their own hands and elect the right people this time. We need leaders who can take responsibility and lead from the front. The city that provides the most income taxes deserves at least a sense of security in their homes. The financial capital that boasts of a sea of educated thinking minds is capable of calling it the shots. Like Shobha De said - Enough is enough.

Sequel Server

Unlike its western counterpart, Bollywood has been churning them out in relatively smaller numbers. Excluding the dubbed versions (the likes of Makdi-manav), I have tried to list out the hindi sequels.

Nigahen - Sridevi is back as the human daughter of the naagin-Sridevi from the hugely successful first part. Sunny Deol plays the naag held in captivity by the evil tantrik Anupam Kher. The fight of good vs evil is for a magical diamond called naag-mani. Harmesh Malhotra directed both the parts that have had a major contribution in fueling many of the myths related to snakes. This was an average success.

Return of the Jewel Thief - One of the masterpieces of Indian cinema, Jewel Thief, was sequel-ed after nearly 30 years. It brought back Dev Anand and Ashok Kumar from the original and the Kohinoor diamond from the UK. This one was not blessed with the S D Burman's evergreen music or Vijay Anand's slick direction. Ashok Tyagi roped in a string of actors for this multi-starrer thriller. The title had the Kohinoor diamond and the famous jewel-thief cap.

Hathyaar - Sanjay Dutt is back as the son of the underworld don (Raghu, played by Dutt) from Vaastav. Vaastav was a huge hit, but there were no attempt to publicise Hathyaar as its sequel. This was a gritty movie that went un-noticed. ("Yeh picture aa-gaya?" "Haan, aaya bhi aur gaya bhi.") The son of the don struggles to fit into the society because of his infamous middle name. Mahesh Manjrekar does a talented job of maintaining the tempo of this drama. At a couple of occassions, whenever the tension is high well placed gangster jokes provide relief ('Boxer bhai song' and 'the hospital scene were dedh-footya's mom yells at a goon - daal doo kya?').

Phir Hera Pheri - The trio of Paresh Rawal, Akshay Kumar and Suniel Shetty are back; this time without Priyadarshan. The look and feel seems quite different to the hugely enjoyed, Hera Pheri. This time the comedy of errors leads them to a load of drugs and a hidden diamond. The climax is a mad-cap chase at a circus. The comedy fails to work mainly because of the lack of its closeness to the homely feel of the original.

Sarkar Raj - Ram Gopal Verma got Amitabh to do what he does the best - act. Amitabh's character was considered to be a depiction of the Shiv Sena chief - Bal Thakerey - whereas, this was actually RGV's version of the Godfather. No less. Sarkar was not a huge hit, but it certainly got noticed by everyone. Sarkar Raj brought back together the Bachchan father-son duo and the to-be-bride of the family. Aishwarya plays a foreign-based businesswomen who needs help from Sarkar to establish a power project in India. The story evolves into an intriguing thriller-drama of mind games between Sarkar and a rural leader played intently by Dilip Prabhavalkar. The end builds up enough to create another part.

Lage Raho Munna bhai - The feel-good team of the local goons Munna bhai and Circuit are back. Munnabhai MBBS did a great deal to improve Sanju baba's image. Raj Kumar Hirani creates another breezy feel-good movie on the backdrop of Gandhi-giri. It is fun to watch a feared goon taking up the non-violent path of Gandhiji (played by the talented Dilip Prabhavalkar) as he tries to win his love (Vidya Balan). Munna is fighting non violently against a scheming Sikh builder, played by Boman Irani. A loveable show of Munna and his chum, Circuit. I have seen trailors of the 3 part - Munnabhai chale America.

Hyderabad Blues 2 - Nagesh Kukunoor debuted with his Hyderbad Blues, an auto-biographical account of adventures of an NRI coming back to India and finding an Indian bride. The entire ensemble is back with the post marriage comedy of the normal middle class couple with the backdrop of a conservative South-Indian culture. The multiplexes lapped it up.

Krrish - Rakesh Roshan dares to create an Indian superhero as a follow up to the ET-inspired Koi mil gaya. Hrithik plays Krrish who gets his superpowers from the alien, Jadoo. He goes on to save the world and rescue a secret towards the end. This was a thoroughly enjoyed hindi-masala adventure, Bollywood got a new superhero and Priyanka got a major hit.

Dhoom 2 - Sanjay Gadhvi and Yashraj films brought together the top actors of the year to create screen magic and rake in a lot of overseas moolah. Abhishek and Uday are carried forward from Dhoom, this time to chase an elusive and stylish thief named 'A', Hrithik Roshan. Bipasha (in double role) and Aishwarya (more important role) provide the oomph and promote size-zero. The thief does some daring stunts and the cops nab the thief in the end. The Diwali opening for this pacy thriller was a huge hit.

Golmaal Returns - Rohit Shetty brings the loony team of Ajay Devgan, Tushar Kapoor, Arshad Warsi and Shreyas Talpade together for a mindless comedy of lying men. Sharmaan Joshi from Golmaal was left out for this one. Kareena plays a shrieking doubting wife and dances to a couple of item songs. Tushar is probably seen in the best act of his life as a dumb hair-stylist act. This was a Diwali hit, a surprise one.

Jodha Akbar - This one is not a sequel, but rather, a prequel to one of the biggest films from the B&W era of Hindi cinema. Ashutosh Gowarikar asked what can one do after 'Lagaan' and 'Swades'? His writer replied that it would be only fitting to create something that would outdo the greatest in Indian cinema - Mughal-e-Azam. It was a classic love story of Akbar's son, Salim, and a dancing slave, Anarkali. Jodha Akbar is the lavish story of the love between two proud royalties, the Mughal (Shahenshah Akbar) and the Rajput (Rani Jodhabai). Hrithik and Aishwarya get together for this period drama and Ashutosh creates magic with help from A R Rehman. It might not have worked at the box-office, but it represented India to the world and got appreciated.

About the filmi dancers

Recently, we watched an episode of the Comedy Circus that had a hilarious skit about a conversation between 2 hindi film background female dancers. The skit was presented funnily enough by a duo of males and it reminded me of the multitude of dance troupes that might have earned employment due to the background dancing. Surely, each choreographer must have had his/ her own dancers. Each had a dedicated or lucky troupe. 

In the cabaret songs of the 70s, there was a repetitive face prancing around with Helen. I was watching 'Monica, my darling' on TV, one day. A guy with a curly mop of hair and a pencil-moustache started his jumping act to the music. My dad pointed out to me that his name is Michael and he is a choreographer, too. I have noticed him in more songs that I cannot recall now. But that is probably how I started noticing the background dancers, too.

In the 80s, there was the group of male dancers that was seen in 'Jahaan chaar yaar' (Sharaabi) as well 'Padosan apni murgi ko' (Jaadugar) and some more Amitabh songs.

During the 90s, in the days of 'Superhit Muqabla', there was one male dancer that used to appear in 5 out of 10 songs. He was the one who did the hip-hop rapper dance to the voice of Bali Bramhabhatt with Jackie Shroff. The song was 'Munda Dekh' from the movie Stuntman. 'Bambai ka babu' had a scene shot in Fantasy Land where Saif calls 'Mangesh' to do some task and Mangesh runs off a kid asked to get an ice cream - a wide smile on the face. One could not miss this guy dancing sincerely behind the hero and more importantly, enjoying himself even while doing the stupidest of the dancing steps. The songs were always a big hit, but the films were bigger flops. The producers must have noticed this coincidence because I have not spotted Mangesh for quite some time. 

The producers should stop allowing Ganesh any screen appearances for the same reason. Every film that Ganesh appears in to dance flops. He is responsible for the dismal fate of 'Jaanam Samjha Karo', 'Money hai toh Honey hai', 'China Gate' to name a few.

In the recent times, there is a very pretty female dancer who has appeared in some popular songs of recent times. She has rolled her eyes with Abhishek in 'Say na say na' (Bluffmaster), had a better tummy than Kareena in 'Its Rocking' (Wah kya love story hai) and even fluttered her colourful long skirt behind Govinda in 'Soni de nakhre' (Partner). Go look for this square jawed girl.

By the way, I m still searching for the mp3 of Shankar Mahadevan's version of 'Hoga tumse pyara kaun'.

Like Akbar Birbal stories

I have opened my 'notepad' (yeah, that is my favorite editor) about 4 times before, but gave into the temptation playing a stupid powerpoint game called - Bubbles. Blame it on bubbles for not having blogged about:

1. background dancers

2. potty snippets from school

3. a hindi movie

4. autograph from Alan 'Watchmen' Moore

Leave them aside for some other time. (Thats what I have been saying about my gym since the last 2 months). The season is changing and it is getting colder by the day. I cannot cycle without the gloves on. The sun will soon be a rare sight. The trees have already started shedding as if trying to symbolise the financial crisis of the world economy. Retailers are trying various discounts and price cuts to bring back the money flow in the market. 

There are the usual BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) offers. Retailers are giving out loyalty points in abundance. A well known retailer has been selling alcohol at a very low price. One of the local councils sued the retailer for selling alcohol that is cheaper than water. The council's argument was that cheap liqour encourages binge drinking. The retailer has enough money to hire the smart brains in the market. It sued the council for water being costlier than alcohol. The council withdrew the case and they all binged heavily ever after.

This location of the neigh

"Throw... quick quick... oh NO"... POP! CRACK!! CRACKLE!!! THUD!!!

"Can you walk?", they asked.

"Yes." I said, clenching my teeth.

I had scored enough to save the team from the blushes, but as I ran for that last run, I could hear my right knee snap under the pad and I landed with a thud in the crease and just missed from being run-out. I straightened my leg as I sat in the mud and the cracking-popping orchestra replayed. I limped back to the pavilion with support from 2 team mates. As I sat down on the chair, I realised that I could not straighten the knee anymore. There was a lot of pain. I took off the gloves and the pads and asked for some water. Someone passed me an ice pack, too. .. thankfully.

Later that night, the pain aggravated and the knee was swollen and tender. An injury in the foreign land is always scary business. A crocin put me back to sleep. But when I woke up the pain woke up with me. I googled the symptoms and was convinced that this is a dislocated knee.

Knee dislocation is different from fracture. But people normally tend to diagonise for a fracture to begin with. The swelling is not as severe as a fracture and the pain is bearable. One can touch the tender soreness on the knee without feeling much pain. I had a swelling on the inner side of the leg on the left side of the knee cap and a bit of pain behind the knee. A knee dislocation could cause a cartilage and a ligament pull. An internal clot can cause an immediate swelling and if there is internal bleeding it has to be taken care-of immediately because there is a risk that the clot might travel to the lungs.

I ordered a cab in the morning which dropped drop me at the 'accident and emergency' department (A&E) of the local hospital. After a quick record entry, I was asked to wait for the doctor to call me. I was first sent to get an x-ray done. The x-ray can only see the bones, which turned out to be normal (no fracture) and that meant that the dislocation had reset itself.

The doctor asked me to drop the pants (I was still wearing yesterday's underpants) and flex the knee. I showed her that I could not bend or completely straighten my knee. It was as-if the knee was locked and there was considerable pain when I tried to force the bending/ straightening. A normal knee should bend to an angle of at least 100 degrees. My knee angle was hardly 45 degrees and that too, slowly and painfully.

Tying the knee only increases the swelling, so crepe bandages are a strict no. Hot or ice massage only soothes the pain, it is not going to heal anything. Ibrufen is a recommended anti-inflammatory capsule and not really a pain killer. 400mg of capsules should work for a stretch of 12 hours. Keeping the leg in the same position for too long can worsen the swelling, I don't know why!
It has been a week and I am feeling much better. The pain only stings at night... mid-way during a deep sleep. I cannot completely straighten my leg yet. I am on a no cycling and no running order from the doctor. This means I will miss the cricket season. :(

People come and ask how it happened and I narrate the episode to them in the most gruesome way and end it by saying it is not as scary as it sounds, there is no pain. I still don't get a free lift home.